I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
birth control should be required to get into college
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
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