margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
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