If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
My ass is underappreciated
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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