I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
