I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
