google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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