We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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