Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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