He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
