I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
