:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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