Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
