clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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