Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
