Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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