break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
