i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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