Say something about gay babies.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
