Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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