wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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