Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
