It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
