My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
