Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
