..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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