I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
