Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Randomize
