i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
