i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
