you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
