Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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