Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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