I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
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