I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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