so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
