i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
