True but thats because hes a fetus.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm like, not good at living.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
