We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
