I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
