so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
