Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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