so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
