someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
