Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
