I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
