Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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