Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
