...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
