Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Randomize
