Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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