So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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